Paris Hilton Not Pregnant Just Emaciated

First just let me say that claiming Paris Hilton spawning is the sign of the apocalypse may not be that original, but I said it a long time ago, so now that everyone is saying it doesn't mean I ripped it off. I actually predicted that the babies of Nicole Ritchie, Clay Aiken, Paris Hilton and a fourth unknown celebrity will replace the Four Horsemen and usher in our doom!

Some pictures of Hilton looking pregnant have been floating around online, but if you look closely it just looks like she has one of those emaciated, skinny-belly bumps. You know the kind of stomachs you see on the kids in those starving children ads.

Hilton has already said she doesn't plan to get knocked up until 2009, which should buy us plenty of time to repent and get in good with God -- before we all banished to the fires of hell.

I plan to stop my evil ways on New Year's Day 2009, after I throw the party of my life. That basically involves me getting drunk by myself and passing out jerking off to porn. Wait that sounds like every night for me. Maybe I should of think of something else to do. Hmmmm...

Photo from Wenn?