Movie Review: Body of Lies (2008)

Just to get it out of the way, the new Leonardo DiCaprio-Russell Crowe-Kirk Cameron-Alan Thicke quasi-political thriller Body of Lies is one of the more disappointing movies of the year...

Is it a bad movie? Not at all, and I’d recommend it (just barely) simply for the star power. But you expect, and should expect more than you get considering the top-shelf talent involved. It marks the 4th collaboration between director Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe yet it’s the 3rd best as Gladiator and American Gangster remain 1 and 2 and the gets-worse-the-more-you-watch-it A Good Year takes the cellar dweller. Let’s hope ‘09’s Nottingham is as good as it reads...and it reads very, very well.

Leo plays Roger “Save” Ferris, a CIA operative under the hefty employ of Ed “Feed Me” Hoffman (Crowe, pulling a reverse Christian Bale in The Machinist). I’m not sure exactly what Ferris does but it does involve killing people and telling Hoffman where to kill people. The point is...he does it well.

The CIA is searching for a super-terrorist named Al-Saleem (Alon Abutbul) as he was part of the conspiracy to bring High School Musical 3 to actual theaters (chumps!!!). If anybody deserves the fingernail treatment, it’s him.

But in order to do so he must get some help from Jordan (the country, not the Michael) where he meets with Hani (Mark Strong) who’s somebody important in Jordan and can facilitate things of that nature. I’m sure these characters have actual titles (Head Killer Guy, Main double-Crosser, Intelligence Czar), but I couldn’t remember them all.

But who is Roger to trust? His new friend Hani...or his boss Ed? Matt Damon? Jack Nicholson? Or maybe they’re all double-crossing him. Or maybe he is the bad guy and you just don’t know it. And will they actually find Al-Saleem before he commits more acts of terrorism (The first strike against the heart of the godless American infidels: The Happening is now out on DVD- I feel bad for all the trees that were cut down to produce the DVD of one of the worst movies of the year ☹- Couldn’t the world be better served with more copies of the Jenna Jameson/Carmen Luvana “adventure” film Pirates)? It doesn’t matter because either way you REALLY should lower your expectations of this movie.

...Or Re-rent The Quick and The Dead instead, because at least it had Gene Hackman in it. No, you really shouldn’t rent it because it’s a bad movie and Body of Lies is at least barely passable

What works with Body of Lies-

1) Russell Crowe- In American Gangster he had to play straight man to Denzel’s bad guy, but he’s in a supporting role here and he knows how to make the most of it as he gets to chew scenery (as well as biscuits and gravy as he looks like he’s auditioning to play The Penguin) in his limited screentime. I suppose the biggest compliment I can give is that you wish the movie were more about him rather than mopey Leo. Even his Southern accent is less spotty than usual.

2) The torture scene- We should all be grateful that he have 10 fingers in case some of them become...unavailable

3) Mark Strong- Mark Strong gives a performance that’s not weak as the Jordanian intelligence guy. He looks like Terry Benedict’s more vicious brother...Jerry Benedict and quietly takes the screen away from Leo just by being so badass that you don’t even need to say you’re badass. You just know. It’s odd in a movie starring DiCaprio and Crowe that it’s his performance that stays with you

4) Main bad guy reminds me of the late director/sometime actor Sydney Pollack. Maybe it’s just me...

5) The best Cell Phone coverage EVER

6) After an interminable first hour, a subplot involving a “copycat” terrorist is perfect in every way. Credit screenwriter William Monahan (The Departed, The Road) and Scott for bringing it off so smoothly...it comes as a real surprise considering...

What doesn’t work-

1) ...considering the first half of the movie is such a drag. It mostly involves setting up the characters (pay attention, because you spend most of the time trying to follow who works for whom and what exactly their jobs are) and taking its sweet fucking time trying to find a “Safehouse”. None of this is shot with any underlying tension and you spend most of the first 60 minutes hoping it gets better. It does. Eventually.

2) Body of Lies- is it just me, or does reek of a really generic title?

It SOUNDS like something you’d see on the Oxygen Network about this woman named Gillian Jones (Amy Adams) who’s a schoolteacher by day and a high priced call girl by night by the name of Shania

One night she gets a call and the john turns out to be her father (Jon Voight) Gary Jones who’s also a Senator. After a couple of awkward moments they decide to go through with the “transaction” because Senator Jones has already paid for the hotel room and the Agency “Shania” works for has already charged Senator Jones’ credit card...and it’d really be a waste of champagne and strawberries

But every Sunday morning the Jones family has brunch and Gary, Gillian and Mrs. Gretchen Jones (Vanessa Redgrave) all meet at the Jones’ mansion because it’s a family tradition. You see the uncomfortable “I just fucked my dad because I’m a schoolteacher by day and high class call girl by night ” look on Gillian’s face...and Senator Jones just doesn’t even look at his daughter abut just keeps eating his honey sausages. And Senator Jones doesn’t even LIKE honey sausages, so you know something’s amiss

Gretchen asks her daughter a simple question like “How’s work been going, Gilly?” and then Gilly shoots her father a look and answers “It’s been weird these past few days, mother.”

Gary chokes on his pancakes and has to leave the table. (“Important Senator business”)

Anyway, this goes on and lie after lie is told, one cover-up after another. Hence the title “Body of Lies”

Remember: Body of Lies, next Wednesday at 3 in the afternoon on the Oxygen Network. BTW- everything in the movie ends happily at a tearful confession scene at dinner (“They ALREADY charged the credit card, Gretchen, what would YOU have done?”)

I’m sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, Body of Lies. Should have been a better title.

3) To say that the love story subplot with Ferris and Aisha (Golshifteh Farahani) drags the movie down is being very, very kind. Whenever you see the 2 of them onscreen, feel free to go to the bathroom or get some more popcorn. It should have been pared down simply for time. And that it’s feeble makes you wish for Crowe’s character even more. Ari Gaynor’s relationship with her fucking GUM in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist is more convincing

4) A dinner table scene with Ferris and Aisha is downright painful to watch. Everybody involved with that scene should be embarrassed as it should have been the first scene cut and put on the DVD.

The part with the kids as Leo’s “spies” is more revolting that any of the torture

5) The movie’s attempts at political relevancy are token at best and should have been jettisoned in favor of making this a more exciting film. In this aspect it parallels last year’s competent but ultimately disposable The Kingdom...also with a bad title. Hmmm...

Overall. Watch this Body if you must, but don’t expect much out of it. I didn’t think I’d say it...but Revolutionary Road now looks like the best DiCaprio movie of the year (DiCaprio!!! Kate Winslet!!! Kathy Bates!!! But NO Celine Dion!!! No Billy Zane!!! Yay!!!), so if you can wait for that one. But if you can’t, then keep your eyes peeled for the dead spots, and bolt for the chocolate malts. That’s what Russell did...