Britney Spears

I knew there would be a calm after the Lindsay Lohan goes to jail storm, so I bought a pack of Newports, popped an adderall and have a fifth of Jim Beam on standby. L.A. sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore told Us Weekly that Lohan will only serve 14-days due to overcrowding.

So what do we do for 14-days while Lindsay is away? Turn our attentions to Britney Spears' head. What in the weave is going on? It looks like she just finished starring in a bukkake video.

According to In Touch Brit Brit is counseling Mel Gibson after his latest meltdown. Remember it was Mel who helped Britney when she was losing her mind in 2008. A friend of the pop star told In Touch that the two have been talking on the phone.

"Mel was one of the only people who reached out to help Britney when she was at her lowest point, and she believes that demonstrates what a loving and wonderful man he is,” said the source. “She wants people to give him a second chance — just like he gave her one when everyone else turned away.”

I kind of like the new Disney free Miley Cyrus, although I have been sitting here all morning trying to figure out if her new music video, Can't Be Tamed , is Sesame Street goes Gothic, or just a bad Britney Spears / Lady Gaga impersonation. Good thing her new album isn't out yet, because I have the feeling that after a few Jim Beams tonight it would have somehow found its way on my iTunes.

The video made its debut on E! News last night, and I'm sure some people found it offensive -- the same people who still won't believe that Adam Lambert is gay. Check it out after the jump!  read more »

Here is Britney Spears' new music video for her song 3. It starts off with two perfume commercials, features her dancing around and then ends with a commercial for her Singles Collection -- which I'm not going to buy because my Itunes is already gay enough. However, I do plan to download the new single once I get my bank account up from its negative balance.

The video, shot by director Diane Martel earlier this month, was released today (October 30) on Britney's official website.  read more »

I have said this a thousand times and I will say it a thousand more. There is a friggen awards show every other day, and guess what? It's VMA time again! I guess the Britney Spears/Russel Brand commercials worked so well last time, MTV decided to do it again.

Here is the first -- of what I'm sure will be many -- VMA commercials.

Britney Spears appeared in a bikini on Letterman last night to read "The Top 10 Ways the World Would Be Different If Britney Spears Were President." The list was not very funny IMO, but it's not her fault, she didn't write it!

Here is the Top Ten List:

10. I'd be the first president to wear eye shadow since Nixon
9. We would only invade fun places like Cabo
8. Free pie for everybody
7. My situation room would be a cabana at the Palms Casino in Vegas
6. I'd lure Osama out of hiding with the irresistible scent of my new fragrance "Circus Fantasy?
5. Every presidential news conference would feature costume changes.
4. America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy
3. Challenge U.S. to put nightclub on the moon by end of decade
2. Three words: Vice President Diddy
1. Finally the media would pay some attention to me.

20-year-old Kyle King was arrested in Connecticut after jumping on stage while Britney Spears was performing Womanizer the other night. After he was released on a $250 bond he did what every 20-year-old does these days -- went on YouTube and made a video about the incident. The only problem is when I woke up this morning he removed it. So this is an open letter to Kyle to put his video back up.

Dear Kyle,

I know someone probably told you vlogging about the incident was a bad idea, however, what is the point of getting arrested if you do not milk it for your five-minutes of fame? Please put your video back up because it was late when I discovered it last night and I was too tired to watch it. I will never know that you're not crazy if you do not defend yourself.

Love Wil

Below may be the last and only picture I could salvage from Kyle's video and the video of the stage incident at the concert.

UPDATED w/ better video!

Actually the Sarah Jessica Parker baby rumor is true. She and her husband Matthew Broderick are having twin girls with a surrogate. A statement from their publicist said that the couple are "happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer..." Blah, blah, blah! Who cares because Britney Spears is supposed to be pregnant again.

Ryan Seacrest claims that he heard from a "reliable source" that Spears is knocked up. The best part is that the father may be one of her backup dancers who she is supposedly banging while on tour. Also don't forget that Kevin Federline has been sniffing around too so anyone's sperm could be the guilty party. This is a slice of Maury Povich heaven, so lets all pray that it is true and hope she doesn't know who the father is.

Her spokesliar did respond to the rumors claiming, “She’s absolutely not pregnant. I have no idea where this ridiculous rumour has come from…”

Seacrest wouldn't lie to us would he?  read more »

Britney Spears has flashed us everything else so why not her maxi-pad? You think if you were on tour in skimpy outfits,you would go with a tampon... unless I'm mixing up my feminine hygiene products?

Wait let me check...

The nazis at Wikipedia say a tampon is "a mass of cotton or rayon; or a mixture of the two inserted into a body cavity or wound to absorb bodily fluid." Looks like I got it right. Anyway below is the video of Brit Brit's Sanitary Towel's concert debut. You can't miss it because a little red box pops up to warn you. Enjoy!

After being released on a citation for "stalking" Britney Spears -- Miranda Tozier-Robbins told Access Hollywood that the whole thing was a just a joke.

The whole thing — it was all a joke in the beginning, everybody knew about it. It was supposed to be like a ‘Paparazzi 101’ documentary type deal. What originally was supposed to happen was, I was going to tape whatever I could get. I would be like, far away doing a stakeout. It didn’t work out as planned, so when I was already halfway there in the mountains [around Britney’s home], it was already Wednesday night/Thursday morning ... I already knew Britney herself wouldn’t be there, but it’s like, I came that far, I might as well go see the house, at least get the house on tape, because I know people would be interested in seeing stuff like that. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, you understand? She’s coming through on the tour, on the stop, it’s like take your chance. Take the opportunity, do it. It wasn’t really stalking her, it was more plotting out how to get to her house.

Here is the video for Britney Spears' Candies commercial. No April Fools I promise!