Idol War Cycle 2

Wow. Kris Allen is the 2009 American Idol. Who would’ve thought all those weeks ago when you seemed to virtually materialize out of thin air on the Top 36 stage that you would take home the crown? When I first picked you for my Idol War Team, I recall explaining to a surprised Colonel that I chose you because I thought your hotness would earn me points for a few weeks. I was playing a strategy, not realizing that I was inadvertently picking the winner.

Randy has said ad nauseam throughout the season that this is “a singing competition,” but to paraphrase Jamie Foxx, that does not mean it is necessarily the “throat Olympics.” Despite Randy’s mid-eighties, early nineties diva definition of singing, the actual art of singing involves more than just the ability to hit every note in creation. Singing also involves emotional connection, the ability to tell a story, and the ability to know how to use what you have. I’m not saying that Adam doesn’t possess these qualities, but I think Kris most certainly does and that is why the viewing audience felt compelled to vote for him. As much as Adam’s season long string of surprises changed the game, so did Kris’ win. In many ways it shows that the contest has evolved from focusing solely on who has the biggest range; now there is a case for who has shown the most artistic growth; who has overcome the odds, connected with, and surprised the audience by thriving despite the lack of hype.

If you look back on the season, there are definitely enough great performances that make a case for Kris Allen’s triumph.  read more »

Welcome to Idol War 2Snaps' gayer version of fantasy football, where three coaches compete in an American Idol competition by betting points on the contestants while evaluating their performances and offering advice.

Last week 'coach' The Colonel Gary G. was eliminated when his final team member Danny Gokey was voted off. Making Andrew "Mickey" Walsh the 2009 Idol War champ!

For complete rules click here.

Idol War Standings:
Andrew “Mickey” Walsh - 780
The Colonel Gary G - 760
Tha Coach WIL Double - 440

Wil was eliminated from the Idol War competition with the loss of Allison Iraheta.

America. I believe in you once more. For a second year in a row, you handed the Idol producers their scripts back and told them to try again. You opposed the suffocating supremacy of pop culture mediocrity and sent the smug, charmless, package artist, known as Danny Gokey, to the Idol 3rd runner up dustbin where Nikki Mckibben, Kimberly Locke, Jasmine Trias, Vonzell Solomon and Syesha Mercado are all waiting with autographed copies of their new CDs.

Danny, what else is their to say. Now that your gone, and out of my face, I can enjoy the finale. But at least I finally understand your appeal courtesy of that adorable little girl. And I quote..

American Idol quote of the year!

"Have you or your family ever had malaria?"

"Good obviously the malaria nets are working." -- Carrie Underwood

Welcome to Idol War 2Snaps' gayer version of fantasy football, where three coaches compete in an American Idol competition by betting points on the contestants while evaluating their performances and offering advice.

For complete rules click here.

Idol War Standings:
Andrew “Mickey” Walsh - 780
The Colonel Gary G - 760
Tha Coach WIL Double - 440

Wil was eliminated from the Idol War competition with the loss of Allison Iraheta.  read more »

Welcome to our American Idol Final Three Preview aka the week Kris Allen goes home.

Today we have our normal Idol and Idol War preview plus two videos: The first is an awkward moment where Paula Abdul gives Scott MacIntyre a guide dog he doesn't seem to want or need. The second is a hilarious video of Danny Gokey forgetting the words to "Billie Jean." This is a must watch for Gokey haters.

Videos after the jump!

Idol War Preview
Idol War Rules

Idol War is 2Snaps' gayer version of fantasy football. Three coaches compete in an American Idol competition by betting points on the contestants while evaluating their performances and offering advice.

Idol War Standings:
Andrew “Mickey” Walsh - 780
The Colonel Gary G - 760
Tha Coach WIL Double - 440

Wil was eliminated from the Idol War competition with the loss of Allison Iraheta.

American Idol Preview
Theme: Judges' Choice -- Each contestant will sing two songs, one that the judges selected and one they chose for themselves.
Last Week's Loser Allison Iraheta
Last Week's Bottom Three: None
Vote For the Worst Pick: Danny Gokey

EW's Power Rankings

3. Danny Gokey: (Last week: No. 4)
2. Kris Allen: (Last week: No. 3)
1. Adam Lambert: (Last week: No. 1)

Tonight we watch the top three performances, tomorrow the Idol War coaches offer their advice and place their bets. Wednesday we watch the results and Thursday the losing coach says good bye to his eliminated Idol.  read more »

Well that is it! Not only is Allison Iraheta gone but so am I. I was the rookie Idol War coach and it was a fun first run, but I am out of team members and have lost the game. Looking back at my team I don't even know how I made it this far, Jasmine Who?, Megan Corky and The Blind Grinch Scotty Mac may have been the worst Idol team ever! Allison, my little firecracker of hope I have to thank you for keeping us in the fight this long.

I really had no hope for you in the beginning, but you quickly won me over and watching you go home was the saddest thing I had to do this year. Perhaps if America could have seen a thirty-something year old, straight, alcoholic male sobbing in his bedroom as you sang your final song they would have stopped the competition and let you stay. It was a sad pathetic moment and perhaps I should reevaluate my life but this isn't about me... it's about you.

What is there to really say? Your elimination was not shocking like Daughtry's and you didn't lose out to any Cunty McPhee's or "Tard Patrols," and that makes your loss even less disappointing, because besides Danny and His Dead Wife the final three are not that bad. Unfortunately sexually safe pansies like Kris win American Idol -- the kind of guy who brings women flowers and studies where the G-spot is -- NOT men like Daughtry who may want to stick a finger in your butt or do it doggy style. American Idol is a world of 16-year-old girls who do not vote for other 16-year-old girls and obese fat women who eat their feelings and read romance novels. You never had a chance, especially when your fans were half passed out from too much whiskey and Red Bull to vote most of the time.

You did everything right while people like Lil Rounds did everything wrong. You broke out of your shell, you picked the right songs and you changed from a shy 16-year-old into an awkward 17-year-old. Like Simon said all along, this is what hurt you in the competition, but I don't know what more you could have done. So this is good bye to you, our Idol War team, and my 100 points that I lost giving me a final total of 440 points. The next two weeks coaches Andrew and Gary battle it out with Kris, Adam and Gokey while we sit on the sidelines and watch.

Oh yeah! If you do put out an album I will buy it instead of illegally downloading it as my thank you for making my return to American Idol worth it. -- Tha Coach Wil Double

Idol War Standings:
Andrew “Mickey” Walsh - 780
The Colonel Gary G - 760
Tha Coach WIL Double - 440  read more »

Due to "technical" difficulties coach THE COLONEL GARY G's Idol War critique was a little late.

You can read part one of the Final Four (Allison, Kris, Adam) here. For complete rules click here.

Idol War is 2Snaps' gayer version of fantasy football. Three coaches compete in an American Idol competition by betting points on the contestants while evaluating their performances and offering advice.

An utter embarrassment. That's what you were Mister Gokey. Remember how in season six when Lakisha Jones, who had been flaming out hard for weeks, on her last note of the last song she sang literally ran out of breath, signaling her Idol end. Lets hope that your uncomfortably over shot screech at the end of "Dream On" is a repeat of this. Did you really believe you could out-scream Adam "Hell Screech" Lambert? You're a fucking tool.

Why is your ego so ill proportioned to your talents and looks? After eight weeks you have contributed exactly ONE memorable performance while Adam, Kris and Allison have given us the kinds of defining Idol moments that will become part of Idol's history along with Fantasia's "Summertime", Carrie's "Alone", Bo Bice's "In A Dream", Ruben's "Superstar", Melinda Doolittle's "Have A Nice Day", Blake Lewis' "You Give Love A Bad Name" and David Cook's "Always Be My Baby". Will you ever join their ranks. Well theres two more weeks left so you should probably get a start on that.

How did this happen? How is it possible that you could even be considered a front runner. I should have forgotten you already along with that gay Spanish kid. You're an okay singer but your also a charmless, insufferable attention whore with an overinflated sense of self and it's time you are gone from my sight. What a waste of 100 Points.

Just like American Idol last night we had some technical difficulties and somehow I lost The Colonel's comments. Hopefully we will retrieve them and they will be published later today.

Raining glass, gashed legs, duets and Slash all made for an interesting Top Four last night aka the battle of Allen and Iraheta. Danny Gokey proved that he may be the next Taylor Hicks, and Kris Allen did not look happy to be paired with him for their duet of Styx's Renegade. Meanwhile Simon said he thought Adam Lambert may have saved Allison with their rendition of Slow Ride. Will it be enough for her to make the Top Three or will Kriss' make the final two shows a sausagefest? We will find out tonight but for now get ready America because....

This…(PAUSE FOR THIRTY SECONDS) is IDOL WAR!

Welcome back to our hit Idol War, 2Snaps' gayer version of fantasy football. Three coaches compete in an American Idol competition by betting points on the contestants while evaluating their performances and offering advice.

For complete rules click here

Idol War Standings:
Idol War Standings:
Andrew “Mickey” Walsh - 680
The Colonel Gary G - 660
Tha Coach WIL Double - 540

Idol War Teams:
Gary - Danny Gokey
WIL - Allison Iraheta
Andrew - Kris Allen, Adam Lambert  read more »

A lot of shocking results have come out of the Top Four on American Idol over the years -the most famous being Chris Daughtry's elimination -- so tonight is the show to watch. I'm guessing this is really just the night to see who goes home Allison Iraheta or Kris Allen and since tonight's theme is "rock" Allen may be in a bit of trouble.

Below is your American Idol and Idol War preview. Tomorrow the Idol War coaches respond to the contestants' performances, Wednesday night we watch the results, and Thursday the losing coach says good bye to their eliminated Idol.

Idol War Preview
Idol War Rules

Idol War Standings:
Andrew “Mickey” Walsh - 680
The Colonel Gary G - 660
Tha Coach WIL Double - 540

Idol War Teams:
Gary - Danny Gokey
WIL - Allison Iraheta
Andrew - Kris Allen, Adam Lambert

American Idol Preview
Theme Rock (guest mentor Slash)
Last Week's Loser Matt Giruad
Last Week's Bottom Three: Matt Giruad, Adam Lambert, Kris Allen

EW's Power List

4. Danny Gokey: (Last week: No. 4)
3. Kris Allen: (Last week: No. 1)
2. Allison Iraheta: (Last week: No. 5)
1. Adam Lambert: (Last week: No. 2)  read more »

SImon Fuller you are so transparent. I get it. You like to maintain some aspect of suspense on the show. That's what makes Idol fans so passionate about it. You never really know if your favorite is safe. But you don't fool me. Adam and Kris IN THE BOTTOM THREE. That's bullshit and you know it. Sure, that snafu over at ITUNES kinda gave the whole show away but please. We're not that gullible to believe that the two guys who have sold the majority of downloads this season are suddenly outpaced by a contestant who has only one top 10 download and another who isn't even on the list. This is why I've been so checked out of this bullshit season, the producers increasingly desperate acts of fuckery. Sure the ratings have dipped a bit but Idol is still by far the most watched show in America. Why so much fuckery? WHY? And your not even good at it. I mean if you had simply waited a week to pull an "oh no Adam is in bottom three" it would've been a bit more believable but not mere days after some doofus at Itunes forgot to click some button and ruined all the suspense. But really, WHAT SUSPENSE? It's been obvious for weeks to everyone with ears, eyes and don't want to molest Danny Gokey (PAULA. Really, you always pick the most broke down looking dudes, Corey Clark, Ellit Yamin. do you hate beauty?) that Kris was on track to take Gokeys spot in the finals. All this manufactured drama when what the show has needed were some good theme weeks and contestants that actually matter. When looking back, this is the first season where I've felt that more worthy contestants were elimnated in the semifinal weeks than made it into the top 12/13. Can you imagine a season that included Junot Joyner, Ricky Braddy, Jesse Langseth, Mishavanna Hensen, Felicia Barton instead of the parade of punchlines like Megan "Corkey", Scott McEntyre and Lil Rounds. And stop the bull about being "current" when the producers are too lazy to think of a theme week that may actually allow these kids to be "current". GRAND OLE OPRY week. Are you fucking joking? And Randy Travis is my guest judge. Why not just dig Minnie Pearl out of her grave? Her rotting corpse would've at least been funny and likeable and not a homophobic douche bag. I honestly think that Idol is just being cheap and lazy. Rat Pack Standards and crappy old country songs must be less expensive and easier to get.  read more »