Movies

Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart's new movie, The Runaways, has to be the must see comedy of 2010. Check out their Pedobear approved music video for Cherry Bomb below. If you can get through it without laughing your ass off, give yourself a round of applause. If you get aroused while watching, you may need to seek professional help... Or not, depending on what state or country you live in.

Fanning hits theaters in her lingerie everywhere on April 9, 2010.

Synopsis

The story of the groundbreaking '70s female rock group the Runaways is recounted in this River Road Entertainment production focusing on the duo of guitarist/vocalist Joan Jett (portrayed by Twilight's Kristen Stewart) and lead vocalist/keyboardist Cherie Currie (Fanning) as they navigate a rocky road of touring and record label woes under the malevolent eye of abusive manager Kim Fowley during their teen years. Acclaimed video artist Floria Sigismondi directs from her own script, with Scout Taylor-Compton co-starring as guitarist Lita Ford.

For those of you waiting at least a week to watch Alice in Wonderland in order to avoid the invasion of the hordes, yet still want something worthwhile and entertaining...without having to take the kids

For those of you who could only see Shutter Island so many times...

The Ghost Writer is the movie you’ve been waiting about 2 weeks for. One hopes this movie doesn’t lose box-office simply because it’s confused with that horrendous Nicolas Cage t’aint smear from 2007. It’s a rather quaint throwback thriller with a 70’s feel. As you watch it, you feel like you’re watching an entirely new genre, but all that’s occurring is a very good story being told with nothing added for effect (written by Polanski and Robert Harris, based on Harris’ novel "The Ghost"). The movie’s a solid two hours running time, but it feels half that long as there isn’t a wasted moment because you’re paying attention to everything that occurs.

The movie ends perfectly, yet I found myself sitting, hoping for more. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way in a theater that wasn’t screening something with the words “Nurses” or “Cheerleaders”. The more you get engrossed in it, the more you realize most studio releases are utter crap.

Be warned, The Ghost Writer contains very little violence, no nudity, and a very funny dearth of profanity (I’ll address that later). It’s a very adult movie (no, not that kind), so those of you bored with incisive dialogue and a generously unfolding story should just go see Cop Out again. It’s the best movie you’ll see this year that isn’t directed by Martin Scorsese.  read more »

Here is the second Iron Man 2 trailer featuring Don Cheadle in the War Machine armor. In theaters May 7, 2010, Iron Man 2 takes place only six months after Tony Stark revealed his secret identity at the end of the first movie.

Like every other superhero sequel, Iron Man 2 is packed with new villains and characters including; Mickey Rourke as Whiplash, Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, and Sam Rockwell is Justin Hammer, a multi-billionaire businessman and a rival of industrialist Stark.

Also according to IMDB, Olivia Munn is playing Melina Vostokoff aka Iron Maiden and Samuel L. Jackson makes an appearance as Nick Fury in the trailer.  read more »

I'm really surprised that the Razzies are not bigger than they are, or at least televised by now. They have been around for so long, one would think they would be able to get a few Z-grade stars to help host or present the awards, and some cable channel like G4 or Comedy Central would be willing to air them each year. Maybe if a few more stars like Sandra Bullock and Halle Berry make more appearances, the Razzies will finally get noticed.

Anywhoo... It is 11 in the afternoon and I'm already drunk in anticipation of passing out before the Oscars (It makes the show much easier to watch), so I should probably stop typing. Here is a video of Sandra Bullock accepting her Razzie for Worst Actress.

WORST PICTURE: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

WORST ACTORS: All three Jonas Brothers, "Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience"

WORST ACTRESS: Sandra Bullock, "All About Steve"

WORST SCREEN COUPLE: Sandra Bullock & Bradley Cooper, "All About Steve"

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Billy Ray Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Sienna Miller, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"

WORST PREQUEL, REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL (Combined Category for 2009): "Land of the Lost"

WORST DIRECTOR: Michael Bay, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

WORST SCREENPLAY: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" written by Ehren Kruger & Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, based on Hasbro’s Transformers Action Figures

WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE: "Battlefield Earth"

WORST ACTOR OF THE DECADE: Eddie Murphy, "Adventures of Pluto Nash," "I Spy," "Imagine That," "Meet Dave," "Norbit," "Showtime"

WORST ACTRESS OF THE DECADE: Paris Hilton, "The Hottie and the Nottie," "House of Wax," "Repo: The Genetic Opera"

Best Picture- Strangely enough, the least predictable of the awards this season as there are 2 viable favorites among the 10 and a legitimate dark horse 3rd. See what a difference a year makes? This year’s bottom 5 nominees are a Na’vi length better than any of ‘08’s remedial “contenders”. Those who like/love movies are forever grateful. The list of 9 is uniformly strong, with the exception being that Sandra Bullock movie...but you already knew that.

Up- Based on the incredible true story about the Asian kid and the old man who makes his house fly with balloons. Pixar changed the ending because no kid wants to watch the real denouement where the old man dies falling off the porch in mid-flight looking for his false teeth and the balloon house crashes and the kid is left to fend for himself against bloodthirsty cannibal savages in the mood for some Asian takeout. That kind of story doesn’t scream “Pixar”. Especially the ending when the kid is found by the natives, tortured, sacrificed and eaten while the talking dog is made some kind of deity, like Pirates of the Caribbean 2.  read more »

Best Actor: You’d think Jeff Bridges had already won the award (considering he’s won just about every other) and that they could save time during the ceremony to just give it to him as soon as he enters the building, but people seem to really like him, and not just because he’s the Dude. You wonder if he’s smokes a jay right before he gets out of the limo and onto the red carpet. At least the 4 other non-winners get a free lunch and vials of whatever drug gets them going (it’s a little known Oscar nominee secret, so all you aspiring actors and actresses out there, reach for those stars), courtesy of the Academy.

Morgan Freeman in Invictus- Morgan Freeman playing Nelson Mandela? An almost automatic nomination based on Subject Matter and portraying a Very Important Person. Freeman’s good in the role as you’d expect him to be, but it’s such obvious casting (he’s noble...and that’s about it) that there’s really nothing surprising about the performance as well as the movie. Might as well have Al Pacino play someone who yells a lot or Denzel Washington play somebody righteous. If you had to rank the nominees’ performances, his would take the 5 spot.  read more »

Best Director- AKA Minority Report:

A black guy and a woman nominated in the same year. Unprecedented. Also a wigger (Quentin Tarantino), the son of the guy that directed Stripes and Ghostbusters, and James Cameron.

Lee Daniels for Precious- Only a handful of black directors have ever been nominated, but this is the wrong minority for the wrong year. If only there were an active black woman directing (Kasi Lemmons is the only person I can think of). Though you can credit Daniels’ strength with actors, you wouldn’t exactly call Precious a visual feast for the eyes. If this were a shitty year like 2008, he might have had more of a chance.

Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker- Her momentum has been gaining since the ending of the calendar year as she’s racked up most of the awards that matter. Plus she’s got the ‘First Woman EVER’ thing going for her. However, if she turns out to be a guy, I don’t know how many people will be pissed and it’ll take her DILF label right off. If she wins it she’ll deserve it, and I’d be rooting for her a whole lot more if it weren’t for...  read more »

Best Supporting Actress- All in all, an Anna Kendrick waistline stronger than the Best Actress category, but also one of the most predictable races (much like Best Supporting Actor). It’s okay because this award will be at the beginning of the show, when most viewers are still actually watching because it’ll be during those exhaustingly pointless dance numbers that everyone who’s tuned in will go to the bathroom or grab themselves a falafel.

Mo’ Nique for Precious: Based on a novel Push by the person who wrote Push and could have just called the movie fucking Precious and saved everybody a lot of unnecessary writing- She’s one just about every aw’ ard possible in this category, and no one else seems to be gaining any momentum on her. Part of me thinks that all the other nominees are too afraid to win because Mo’ Nique would EAT anyone else whose named got called other than hers, and I wouldn’t really want to see Pe’ nelope Cruz broken in 2 and gnawed on like she was in Dawn of the Dead her way to the stage. It’s really not wo’rth it.  read more »

Snooki's endorsement for a movie is probably not a good thing, but it is a very good reason why Avatar shouldn't win best picture. The Jersey Shore scholar tweeted (via Tweet Soup) that James Cameron is her favorite director. Her favorite two movies? Titanic and Avatar!

Surprise! Surprise!

"Guess what Im doin! Goin to see Avatar for the 90th time lol! Props to my fav director James Cameron. Titanic & Avatar, my fav. movies ever!"

Snooki is the reason movies like Transformers and Avatar make so much money. We like to call them the "Saturday Night Dead" (thanks Gary), the hordes of mindless losers who flock to movie theaters in an effort to ruin other people's theater going experience. I would like to believe that even Snooki could pay attention to little blue things running around for two-plus hours, but the reality is, that she probably spends most of her time in a theater texting, eating and talking.

I actually feel bad for people like Cameron who spend years working on every detail of their film, so people like Snooki can get fingerbanged in the theater while it plays. You ever get a blowjob in 3D? I bet Snooki's date Avatar has!

I wonder if the DVD cover will feature a quote from her?

Best Movie of 2009 -- Snooki  read more »

SheSoCrazy.com (NSFW) just published some pictures and red band trailer for the movie only the staff of 2Snaps has been waiting for, Showgirls 2: The Return. The production is rumored to cost over $25M, and the trailer looks like a softcore porn movie that would play late night on Skinemax.

The sequel follows a minor character Hope from the original (played by Rena Riffel) who finds herself mixed up with drugs, revenge and murder. Sounds great to me! All I need to know now, is when is the release date!

Check out the uncensored pictures and trailer for Showgirls 2 here.