Orlando Boom

Not only did Orlando Bloom get my favorite reality TV show, Pretty Wild, kicked off the air -- because he got a little sand in his vagina over a burglary (what a baby!) -- but now he knocked up Miranda Kerr. That means no Kerr panty pictures for like 9-months. This dude is really one selfish egotistical butthole! Kerr makes up like 90% of the material on other websites I run. Why doesn't he just personally come over to my house, and smack the Jim Beam bottle out of my mouth.

I guess it's Evan Williams for the rest of the year. Thanks Bloom!

And I don't buy into the woman propaganda that being pregnant is sexy! So I better not see any Victoria's Secret pregnant ads with Kerr. Or her naked on the cover of Vogue. Just go away until this fuckery is over! Only men with weird fetishes think pregnant women are hot.

I'm also extending my Orlando Bloom boycott... I'm not only going to boycott his movies, but from now on I'm going to start paying to see other movies, and watch Pirates of the Caribbean 4‎ (or whatever the hell is he is currently starring in) for free. Actually to be fair, I will only watch the scenes he is in -- that way I'm only stealing from Bloom and not the other actors, they're innocent in all of this.  read more »

Here are this week’s Blind Items:

Sources include other media outlets. Or quite simply are total truths that people are too ashamed to speak and fans are unwilling to admit.

WHICH Hollywood A-lister is so obsessed with her looks that she's going to extreme biological lengths to preserve them? Despite taking on more Botox than oxygen on the set of her latest film, she still searches for revolutionary techniques to make herself look younger. The latest treatment apparently involves skin cells being scraped from the area behind the ears and rushed off to a secret laboratory. New cells are then grown and the resulting paste is injected back into the face. And despite paying hand over fist for this money-for-old-rope treatment, she still looks like a shaven spider monkey. And an old one at that. (Holy Moly)

Molly Says: I say Renee Zellweger who looks like shiiite lately and is currently filming. Can’t be Nicole Kidman anymore since she gave up her botox when she got pregnant (and her face subsequently melted off). Wouldn’t say Demi Moore either since she looks fabulous.  read more »