Oscars

Best Actor: You’d think Jeff Bridges had already won the award (considering he’s won just about every other) and that they could save time during the ceremony to just give it to him as soon as he enters the building, but people seem to really like him, and not just because he’s the Dude. You wonder if he’s smokes a jay right before he gets out of the limo and onto the red carpet. At least the 4 other non-winners get a free lunch and vials of whatever drug gets them going (it’s a little known Oscar nominee secret, so all you aspiring actors and actresses out there, reach for those stars), courtesy of the Academy.

Morgan Freeman in Invictus- Morgan Freeman playing Nelson Mandela? An almost automatic nomination based on Subject Matter and portraying a Very Important Person. Freeman’s good in the role as you’d expect him to be, but it’s such obvious casting (he’s noble...and that’s about it) that there’s really nothing surprising about the performance as well as the movie. Might as well have Al Pacino play someone who yells a lot or Denzel Washington play somebody righteous. If you had to rank the nominees’ performances, his would take the 5 spot.  read more »

Best Director- AKA Minority Report:

A black guy and a woman nominated in the same year. Unprecedented. Also a wigger (Quentin Tarantino), the son of the guy that directed Stripes and Ghostbusters, and James Cameron.

Lee Daniels for Precious- Only a handful of black directors have ever been nominated, but this is the wrong minority for the wrong year. If only there were an active black woman directing (Kasi Lemmons is the only person I can think of). Though you can credit Daniels’ strength with actors, you wouldn’t exactly call Precious a visual feast for the eyes. If this were a shitty year like 2008, he might have had more of a chance.

Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker- Her momentum has been gaining since the ending of the calendar year as she’s racked up most of the awards that matter. Plus she’s got the ‘First Woman EVER’ thing going for her. However, if she turns out to be a guy, I don’t know how many people will be pissed and it’ll take her DILF label right off. If she wins it she’ll deserve it, and I’d be rooting for her a whole lot more if it weren’t for...  read more »

Best Supporting Actress- All in all, an Anna Kendrick waistline stronger than the Best Actress category, but also one of the most predictable races (much like Best Supporting Actor). It’s okay because this award will be at the beginning of the show, when most viewers are still actually watching because it’ll be during those exhaustingly pointless dance numbers that everyone who’s tuned in will go to the bathroom or grab themselves a falafel.

Mo’ Nique for Precious: Based on a novel Push by the person who wrote Push and could have just called the movie fucking Precious and saved everybody a lot of unnecessary writing- She’s one just about every aw’ ard possible in this category, and no one else seems to be gaining any momentum on her. Part of me thinks that all the other nominees are too afraid to win because Mo’ Nique would EAT anyone else whose named got called other than hers, and I wouldn’t really want to see Pe’ nelope Cruz broken in 2 and gnawed on like she was in Dawn of the Dead her way to the stage. It’s really not wo’rth it.  read more »

2010 Oscars: My 2 cents: Best Actress and Best Supporting Actor: Now with more Colons!

Amidst dwindling ratings because of nominated films nobody would actually pay to see (The Reader, Frost/Nixon from last year, The Dark Knight’s shafting- which gets even more egregious as time goes by), interminable running times and dance numbers that make you want to have something sharp meet with something sensitive, The Academy of Movies with Overpriced tickets have decided to try to spike and spice up the awards by expanding the Best Picture field from 5 to 10 nominees (to squeeze in something we’d actually see instead of costume dramas about dead people and Holocaust drearies about dead people), well placed nudity and random beatings. Plus a member of the audience gets to use a rifle to shoot at the stage when the musical numbers get too long and boring. Aim for the head, lucky audience member, aim for the head.

We’ll find out if the shameless baiting works on Sunday March 7th. Or, based on the ratings anyway, some of us will as the rest of us have lives to lead. We’re there however, if Alec Baldwin mentions the words “Schwetty Balls” or if Steve Martin promises to never ever do another Pink Panther.  read more »

It's time to wake up and accept the reality that Avatar is not only not the Best Picture of 2009, but it doesn't even deserve to be in that category. Does it deserve technical awards? Of course. Was the 3D technological experience groundbreaking? Yes, but so was Captian EO once, and no one gave that an Oscar.

Anyone you talk to who has seen the film will tell you you just have to see it in IMAX 3D to really, fully, appreciate it, which is exactly the reason it shouldn't win. If the film is no longer affecting outside of a strict set of circumstances how can it be the Best Picture? Inglorious Basterds and The Hurt Locker can be enjoyed just as fully at home as they were in the theater. In ten years, when technology has continued to make further leaps, both movies will still hold up because neither one was enjoyed solely on the use of a gimmick. Can you say the same for Avatar? The script is weak and the plot is recycled from two of his previous efforts (most notably Aliens and Titanic). The fact that it wasn't nominated for Best Original Screenplay speaks volumes. A movie that is crowned the Best of the Best should be strong in all areas, not just a "visceral" experience. Kathryn Bigelow's film was visceral without the use of 3D glasses. Quentin Tarantino's script was engrossing and entertaining without the use of overwrought cliches. Lee Daniels and Jason Reitman didn't need $300 million to get a message across or move you to tears.  read more »

Every year Hollywood pumps out tons of garbage, but come award season time all the flops and stinkers are forgotten, so actors, directors and producers can pat themselves on the backs for the few decent films that managed to make it to movie screens that year. That is why the Razzie Awards used to be so important. It reminded people like Halle Berry that for every Monster's Ball there are two or three Catwoman movies on her resume.

However, the Razzies have become just as bad as the award shows they mock. Their 2010 nominations read like they were selected by a bunch of bitter 15-year-old fanboys. Worst Actress/Actor Miley Cyrus and The Jonas Brothers? Worst Screen Couple of 2009 - - Kristen Stewart & EITHER Robert Pattinson OR Taylor Whatz-His-Fang!?!

Instead of beating up on the obvious punching bags of the year, why not nominate actual actors and movies that are way more deserving of the title "worst." If the Razzies want to poke fun at people like Megan Fox or Miley Cyrus they should add Worst Stunt Casting or Teen Fad categories. Including them in the Worst Actress of 2009 takes away from legitimate actresses who are way more deserving of the title.

If you had to choose the worst actor of 2009 out of All Three Jonas Brothers, Will Ferrell, Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy and John Travolta, who would you choose? Although your answer should be Travolta most would probably choose the Jonas Brothers, but are the Jonas Brothers even considered movie actors?

I'm not trying to get technical. I know the Razzies are for fun, but nominating Twilight films and dumb Disney stars doesn't seem very fun or witty to me. It is obvious and boring. Kind of like Scooby-Doo and Shaggy are stoner jokes.

The Razzies should give themselves a little more credit and try to be a little less obvious with their choices... Picking on the Twilight Saga is tired and overdone. Plus how did they miss X-Men Origins: Wolverine as worst picture this year!  read more »

Need help getting through tonight's ceremony, or just a big drunk like most of the staff here at 2snaps? Well then join in our Oscar Drinking Game and see how long you can keep from blacking out!

Round One: The Red Carpet

You must drink everytime someone:
#1. Wears black out of respect to the bad economy.
#2. Says "it's just an honor to be nominated." Drink double if they acknowledge that saying such a thing is cliche but then they say it anyway.
#3. Each time a celeb of lower cache is shoved out of an interview for one higher on the ladder.
#4. If Brad and Angie snub Seacrest again, do a double shot.  read more »

Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress...AKA the last hour of the telecast that you actually care about

BEST ACTRESS- a weaker field than the normal Best Actress remains of what’s left , but it was 2008 so the mediocrity doesn’t really surprise

1) Anne Hathaway for Rachel Getting Married – Nothing you’ve ever seen in her previous movies would lead you to believe that she’s capable of such great work. Hopefully this helps in a worldwide campaign to burn EVERY SINGLE COPY of The Princess Diaries and its sequel. If you have one at home, throw it into the fire. Not only will you be saving yourself...you’ll be saving the Earth as well.

Fun fact: In 2005, Focus Features spent hundreds of thousands of dollars running Oscar Campaigns for Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain but did not set aside enough money to campaign for Anne Hathaway’s Breasts for Best Supporting Appendage. Anne Hathaway’s Breasts’ agent did not return any of my office’s calls to respond. I’m halfway thinking of direct dialing Anne Hathaway’s breasts myself just to hear what really happened straight from the nipple. I’ll keep you posted.

2) Angelina Jolie for Changeling- this is the ‘We couldn’t find anybody else so we’re scraping the bottom of the performance barrel” nomination for Jolie’s histrionics in the lesser of the Clint Eastwood-directed movies this year. Since Brad Pitt’s nominated too, all I care about is...who will baby-sit the twins? I need to know. Maybe Jennifer Aniston’s available. Or Gwyneth Paltrow. Or that Nanny from Babel, because that turned out so well before...

Fun Fact: If you look in the Pitt-Jolie Basement, you’ll see hundreds of other kids they’ve ‘adopted’ from various park benches and Toys ‘r’ Us’. Don’t worry, they’re well fed as they’re sent pizza and cookies every couple of days and Anne Hathaway’s Breasts sometimes visits for milk.  read more »

Well once again this year's Academy Award nominations are crap, Batman, The Punisher: War Zone, The Wrestler and Hamlet 2 were not nominated for Best Picture; instead The Curious Case of Benjamin BUTTman (Read our review), Milk (Read our review), Frost/Nixon, The Reader, and Slumdog Millionaire were.

The Dark Knight was nominated for eight Oscars including the obvious stuff like Visual Effects, AND YES Heath Ledger got his Best Supporting Role nod, AND YES he died yada-yada-yada! The only person I'm pulling for to win is the mutant known as Mickey Rourke to win Best Actor for The Wrestler. And I look forward to see if Hollywood still suffers from homophobia by ignoring Milk and Sean Penn who was also nominated for Best Actor.

The most nominations went to Benjamin Button with 13 and second was Slumdog with ten. Jesus I feel like I could have written this article six months ago. (yawn)

So hurry, this is your last chance to rush out and see all the nominated films, so you can bore your family, friends and co-workers with regurgitated opinions you read from assholes like me on the interweb.

"Isn't Philip Seymour Hoffman grand!"

Complete List of Oscar Nominations  read more »

Like I said in my previous Heath Ledger article, they should change the The Dark Knight's tagline from; Why So Serious? to Can a Dead Man Win an Oscar?

To keep up with our Heath Ledger Oscar watch here are some quotes from his co-stars in the film:

Christian Bale: "When we were in Chicago filming, watching Heath creating his own unique take on the Joker was one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed as an actor. ... We became so close making this film. I truly feel I've lost both a friend and great acting partner. He absolutely deserves an [Oscar] nomination for that.''

Gary Oldman: "I think Heath's going to win the Oscar, posthumously. After we did our first scene together, I called a friend and said, 'This is one of those actors you dream of working with. He's genius in this role.'''  read more »