Politics

You probably already heard about the Meghan McCain Twitter breasts scandal by now... If not, The daughter of Republican Presidential nominee, John McCain, posted a photo of herself in a tank top on her Twitter, and I guess it caused some kind of controversy.

It turns out Meghan has huge breasts and her followers consider her a slut for having them. McCain has apologized for wearing a tank top while at home, and is also considering closing her account because people are lame. Here are a few pictures from the "controversy." One person told her to put a bow on the picture and say it was for "Breast Cancer Awareness..." Genius!

http://twitter.com/McCainBlogette

I always thought that guy (what's his name?) who knocked up Jamie Lynn Spears would have the most famous sperm of this decade, but new fame whore Levi Johnston is slowly taking his crown.

You may remember Levi was the guy who became famous for losing his mess in Bristol Palin-- Sarah Palin's daughter -- during the 2008 Presidental Election. He has publicly ripped Sarah and has appeared on the Tyra Banks' Show. Now he is selling nuts! Yes, nuts! Check out his commercial below, and pray he ends up on a VH1 Reality TV show soon!

The only politics we follow on 2Snaps is sex politics, and California Assemblyman Michel Duvall has caught our attention.

Duvall , a "family values" guy and supporter of Prop 8, was caught on tape bragging about banging and spanking some female lobbyist. He is married with two kids and obviously not very smart, since he was caught talking about his "love making" while wearing a live mic at one of those meetings politicians have -- Whatever they're called... According to Dlisted, "Mike said that after he had 'a lot' of sex with his mistress on Wednesday, she told him: 'I am going 
up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me! So messy!'"

Very nasty Mikey! At least learn to pull out and aim for her face. You're going to knock the skank up, and they be in even more trouble!

Anywhoo watch the video below, because I'm high on painkillers, and having a hard time writing this. The professional news people do a better job of explaining it anyway.

Will somebody warn Obama that if he would like to be re-elected he better stop interrupting American Idol. Doesn't he know that the millions of 16-year-old girls watching will be the voting age by the next election? If he continues to separate them from Gokey and Lambert, he is going to have one pissed-off army of 20-year-olds voting his ass out of office in four years.

Once again last night I got pre-liquored up on Red Bull and Jim Beam for nothing because the show was moved to Wednesday for some stupid press conference. I had to watch my Battlestar Galactica DVDs drunk instead and I forgot what happened -- Obamas fault!

I got cranky and yelled at my RPG football teammates for no reason -- Obamas fault!

I'm really starting to dislike this guy a lot! I don't think he ever helped Larry Flynt like I asked. He hasn't sent me any free coupons in the mail. What good is he America?

Couldn't he have interrupted Dancing With the Stars or some shit?  read more »

President Obama is going back to what he knows best, being a pop culture icon, instead of making my life better like you all promised me he would. The Prez has a scheduled appearance on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno later this week to push his $3.6 trillion proposed budget.

It's a pretty dumb move if you ask me. Someone should tell him that once you dupe the idiots of America into voting you don't need to keep catering to them. What the hell do I know about $3.6 trillion budgets and why is he clogging up my comedy shows to tell me about it? That is what the news channels are for, not late night television. Late night is for Skinemax movies, bad, but addictive, religious shows and infomercials. Not Presidents!

If he has a cameo on Gossip Girl or American Idol I'm so voting Republican in the next election. Seriously I didn't NOT vote so this guy so he could keep bothering me.

Everybody and their brother was invited to the presidential inauguration except the most important person in my life, Amy Winehouse. However, it doesn't matter, I just skipped watching that crap on TV and watched this video of Wino singing Puppy Love instead. If you close your eyes you can imagine she is freezing her ass off in D.C. while serenading that Obama guy. He doesn't know what he is missing.

In other crackhead news, Wino found a new love according to the always reliable Sun.

"The Rehab singer has fallen for another fella as her Caribbean carnival continues — as husband Blake fumes in jail. The new gent, a sport instructor at the St Lucia hotel where she was staying before she moved to a private villa, follows rugby hunk Josh Bowman on Amy’s holiday checklist."

Who wants to be in Washington when you could be falling in love several times in sunny Saint Lucia instead?

It is starting to become hard to tell if we are swearing in a new President or holding a mega-concert in Washington on the January 20th. Just look at the stars scheduled to appear at President-elect Obama’s inauguration:

Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Bono, Garth Brooks, Sheryl Crow, Renee Fleming, Josh Groban, Herbie Hancock, Heather Headley, John Legend, Jennifer Nettles, John Mellencamp, Usher Raymond IV, Shakira, Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, will.i.am, and Stevie Wonder.

People are paying thousands of dollars to attend the free concert, which will be held under the Lincoln Memorial, (you know that guy who freed the slaves?). Obama likes the former president so much he is even having a Lincoln type luncheon, and will use the same bible that Lincoln took his oath on.

Reading historical passages will be Jamie Foxx, Martin Luther King III, Queen Latifah and Denzel Washington, and then we can all sit back, drink some beers and wait for Obama to make everything better again. I hope he starts with my bank account because that shit is empty.

Everybody and their brother promised me that this Obama guy would make my life better, well here is his chance. Joe Francis (Girls Gone Wild) and Larry Flynt need the government's help because porn DVD sales are down 22% from last year.

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind," Flynt says. "It's time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America."

Francis plans on making a trip to Washington to ask for a $5 billion bailout, because he considers the porn industry bigger and more important than the "big three automakers" Congress helped out, and I have to agree. As an ex-porn industry employee I can vouch that it is indeed an important part of our economy and should be saved.

So here is my first plea to President Obama, please give Joe some money -- fuel for his private jet is not cheap! Also please give every American a free account to the porn site of their choice, 1 bottle of Jim Beam and 1 pack of Newport cigarettes. I'll send you my address through Twitter after they solve your hacking problems.

Thank you and god bless baby Jesus!  read more »

Losing must not be that bad, while poor slobs like me are praying that this Obama guy will actually change the country (doubtful), Sarah Palin is busy relaxing, showing off her short-shorts and shaved legs, while sipping fancy drinks and Diet Pepsi (Do you think she shaves everything?). Meanwhile I'm still slamming pints of Jim Beam and eating off the dollar menu at Burger King. She may have lost the election, but she is still better off than you. That means only one thing, we need to turn her into a sexual object for men, grunt at her and act a fool, it is all we have left.

How would you like to throw those legs over your shoulders while you bang her butthole? Yep I feel better now, well until the bill collectors start calling again. Good thing I'm already trashed! Praise Jim Beam, we should have voted him into office because he has done more for me than any politician has.

Maybe listening to Michael Jackson's Heal the World will make me feel better.  read more »

It may an exciting day for America but what will Saturday Night Live do without Sarah Palin? Go back to not being funny again? What a shame.

Meanwhile I got drunk and forgot to announce 2 Snaps' 2008 Presidential Endorsement. Possibly the most important endorsement of the year, the one that would have rocked the election, will now never be known, and to think we worked so hard on our Decision 2008 coverage for nothing. Oh well I guess there is always next year, plus Carrie Underwood thinks people like me should keep our mouths shut:

In the new issue of TV Guide, Carrie said, "There is someone I do support, but I don't support publicly. I lose all respect for celebrities when they back a candidate. It's saying that the American public isn't smart enough to make their own decisions. I would never want anybody to vote for anything or anybody just because I told them to. Music is where you go to get away from all the BS. Whether it's from politics or just the world around you, music should be an escape."

Who am I to argue with Carrie?